I gave Rudy a deadline of 48 hours to respond. He missed it, leading to another email…
Dear Mr. Rudolph Chow,
Remember that time I sent you an email about being overcharged and you sent me one back apologizing and said it was corrected and would never happen again? Yeah, me neither, so here I am again.
I have been checking my email for two days now, anxiously awaiting your response. Unfortunately, I have received nothing but an inbox full of spam. In the past, I have given you guys a ton of leeway and made excuses when I haven’t received a reply… maybe they’re on vacation, it’s cold and water mains are exploding, it’s flu season… but not anymore.
Look Chow, I don’t take kindly to continually being ignored. You are going to force me to have to come down to the city with the youngest in tow and if I am being completely honest, the kid is kind of a wild card, Rudy. He has also spent the majority of his life witnessing his mother battle “the water company” and his opinion of you guys is in the toilet. I am just giving you fair warning that his behavior, at times, is not what one would call conducive to a productive work environment and let’s face it, Rudy, you guys certainly don’t need any additional distractions, if you know what I mean.
In addition to reading the many articles concerning the gigantic mess you have with the the aging infrastructure and erroneous billing system, I have also kept fairly up to date with the soaring crime rate Baltimore CIty has been experiencing. Your offices have the convenient location of being smack dab in the middle of Baltimore and with limited parking, I am sure.
Now, I have never personally experienced hostile gun fire but I am going to go out on a limb here and assume that dodging bullets to get to your office is probably going to prove much more difficult while shielding a 3 year old. It also means that I will be forced to take the day off from doing laundry, in my High Efficiency washing machine, of course (wink, wink). I am not sure if you are familiar with the amount of laundry 3 boys can produce, but let me tell you, it ain’t pretty. Why would you want me to have to go through all of that, Rudy? When you have all the information you need at your fingertips?
It is fairly simple, I need my water meter fixed or replaced immediately and when I say immediately… I mean, like, this week. Not when the youngest heads to kindergarten. I need a credit, once again, issued to my account for the erroneous meter reading from this last billing quarter. If any of this is confusing, I believe it is what is referred to in business circles as “customer service” and “a refund”. Let me know if you need further clarification on these terms. I am fully aware that these duties may not necessarily fall under your job description but remember, we lead by example, Rudy and there is no “I” in team, so get her done.
P.S. It seems I need some type of access code to log into my account on your customer portal that I do not have. Apparently, it is sent on your very first bill, which, in hindsight, I should have saved 5 years ago but you live and learn, Rudy. If you could be a dear and get that to me, I would sincerely appreciate it.
Either Rudy felt my pain or realized that I was bat shit crazy because a few hours after hitting the send button, I received a phone call from a Supervisor at DPW. She informed me that my emails were forwarded to her to handle and that SHE was my contact moving forward, not Mr. Chow. She was not only able to make all necessary credits to my account but also arranged for my meter to be replaced. She was pleasant, efficient, followed up consistently and my water bill has been correct ever since.